I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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