Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
