I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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