Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
