I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
