and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize