Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
