Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
