I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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