I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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