I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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