She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize