You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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