a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Acid is not a monday night drug
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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