I faked an abortion last night.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
