This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
