4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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