He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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