just survived the first fart of the relationship.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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