Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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