dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My ass is underappreciated
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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