just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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