What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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