My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
