is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
