just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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