I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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