btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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