Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
