Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
