I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
