the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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