SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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