I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
