doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
