I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
