I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
