I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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