This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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