Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
