If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
