Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
