I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If that was your dad, he is hot
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
How's work?
Spinning.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
