yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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