I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
