Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
