Cold hands, warm shart.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
