I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize