I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize