Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i've created a new STD.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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