So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize