Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We had to coat check the pizza.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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