STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
