never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
