Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
