I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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