And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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