3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
