Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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