I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
